Butterfly

Connecticut Outreach Society

P.O. Box 163
Farmington, CT 06034

(860)294-4392
Please leave a message incuding how we can contact you.

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Frequently Asked Questions


How often are meetings held? COS Meetings are held once a month - on the 2nd Saturday. We also hold special dinners and special events irregularly through-out the year. Finally, individual members go out to dinner, theater, clubs, etc. on a frequent basis.
During the summer months (July and August) the heat, lack of A/C at our meeting place, and daylight savings time conspire to drive our attendance down, so we usually take these months off. See you in the fall however!


How much does all this cost, and what do I get? We ask for a voluntary donation of $35 per year to help pay the rent for the meeting place, phone and to support the annual picnic. We charge $5 per meeting additionally help cover rent on our meeting place and refreshments.


I am terrified of being discovered. What should I do? COS values its security and that of its members above all. While some of our members are "out" and active in the local LGBT community, many others must protect their careers, families, etc. We respect both points of view!


Can I dress at the meetings? Many of our members dress at home and travel to the meetings en femme. However, there are many reasons why this may not be possible:

  • Spouse disapproval
  • Nosy neighbors
  • Not quite passable yet
  • Daylight Savings Time

Please do not let this discourage you from coming! We have several changing rooms at the meeting place. Come a bit early and there will be plenty of time to put yourself together!


Where are the meetings held? We hold the meetings in West Hartford. For reasons of security, the meeting place is confidential. Please call the COS phone line at (860) 294-4392 for details.


What should I wear? The dress code is fairly loose - mostly women's business attire, dresses, skirt and blouse, etc. Some members like to dress up a bit, some members are more casual. We do however, discourage fetish wear or dress that would be inappropriate for the everyday public. Save it for Halloween or a night to a club!


My spouse wants to come to a meeting COS understands fully the sensitive issues faced by the married cross-dresser. We welcome spouses to any of our meetings or events. If your spouse has questions or issues about the transgendered community or COS, let us know. We can connect her with some of the spouses who are active in COS and accept this part of their husbands' lives.


I am not a cross-dresser but I would like to meet one. Can I come to a meeting? No. We are not a dating service. We are a support group. There are other groups in the state that may be more open to your needs, and we encourage you to seek these out.


I am Transsexual - can I join COS? Of course! We welcome all of our transgender sisters and brothers. Please note that we are a bit more focused towards the cross-dressing community (wigs, makeup, sizing, and presentation). Some of the issues important to a TS person in transition may be better addressed at a TS support group such as the Twenty Club However, there is quite a bit of overlap between the membership of COS and the Twenty Club. Please join us!


I am gay. Can I come to a meeting? Of course! COS does not discriminate. We are a non-sexual group, however, and discourage all sexual behavior (regardless of orientation) within the group or at group events. While COS is an alternative to the local drag community, we have a lot of friendships, and even some members who are active in that community as well


I have never dressed before. Will you do a "make-over" on me? Unfortunately, we do not have the resources or time during a meeting to give you that makeover you've always wanted - in fact, most of us have all we can do to get ourselves ready! However, there are several local establishments that can assist you with makeup, nails, hair, etc. We will be happy to help you contact these places.
COS meetings regularly host businesses catering to our community. We've had wig shops, Mary Kay, Avon, Merle Norman, dressmakers, and several beauty salons. These can help you to fine tune your presentation and image. We also publish a shopping guide that lists local T-friendly establishments.
Please do not let your skill level hold you back - if you would like to join and don't feel up to coming en femme, we welcome you to come en drab. Most of the lovely ladies of COS started out exactly where you are today, and we understand how you are feeling. We're confident that after a meeting or two you will feel comfortable stepping out en femme, and beginning the journey to self acceptance and comfort.


What's all this Outreach stuff? Will I need to go on the lecture circuit? Only if you want to! COS is devoted to educating the general public about transgenderism. COS members have spoken at most of the colleges in the state, as well as some high schools, public service groups, etc. If your son or daughter comes home from college talking about the nice cross-dressers who spoke in Sociology class, odds are good they have met members of COS.
In addition to lectures and presentations, COS reaches out to the local LGBT community through LGBT Pride Day, the annual True Colors conference, and participation in Gender Lobbying Day.
The Outreach programs are quite extensive and ambitious, and many members find being under the public spotlight a bit too daunting! But your input and energy are always appreciated! By being part of COS, you are helping to spread the word that we are normal, loving, and wonderful people - perhaps helping the next generation to avoid the shame and hiding that many of us grew up with.


 
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